How to manage perfectionism and self‑imposed pressure
Do you find yourself overthinking everything you do as a psychologist? Do you criticise yourself over small mistakes? Are your work standards so high that they sometimes feel impossible to meet? If you answered yes to any of these, you might be dealing with perfectionism and self‑imposed pressure.
While perfectionism and high self‑expectations can sometimes be admired in professional settings, they can also limit and affect a psychologist’s wellbeing. Studies have linked them to issues such as:
- High sensitivity to criticism
- Low self‑esteem
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Psychological inflexibility
- Difficulty relating to others
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Chronic procrastination
- Repetitive negative thoughts
Given the potential impact of these factors, it’s important to recognise how perfectionism and self‑pressure show up in psychologists and how to manage them effectively.
Recognising Perfectionism and Self‑Pressure
Most research focuses on treating perfectionism in clients, but less attention has been paid to how it affects psychologists themselves and their professional practice. Some studies suggest that between 75% and 87% of psychologists show signs of perfectionism, including behaviours such as:
- Putting others’ needs before their own
- Spending long hours preparing work, even at the cost of personal life
- Setting high, sometimes unrealistic standards for clients
- Needing constant positive recognition
- Being overly accommodating
- Thinking in rigid, black‑and‑white terms
- Impatience
- Ruminating on what could have been done differently
- Struggling to separate personal life from work with clients
These traits don’t just affect the psychologist; they can also influence client engagement. For example, Presley, Jones, and Newton (2017) found that clients perceived highly perfectionist psychologists as impatient and directive, particularly those seeking help for anxiety. This shows that perfectionism can impact both professionals and those they serve.
Tips for Managing Perfectionism and Self‑Pressure as a Psychologist
Social media plays a key role in amplifying FOMO. We’re constantly exposed to carefully curated snapshots of other people’s lives idealised versions that rarely reflect reality. We see friends, family, and even celebrities enjoying holidays, exclusive dinners, parties, or career wins and it can make us feel like we’re somehow missing out.
This is known as social comparison the natural tendency to measure our lives against others. On social media, this tendency is intensified, because we’re only seeing people’s highlights: their happiest moments and biggest achievements.
The result? A growing sense of dissatisfaction and stronger FOMO, as we feel excluded from those experiences which, in turn, can harm our self-esteem.
Given its effect on wellbeing and work efficiency, here are four practical strategies to keep perfectionism and self‑pressure in check:
1. Develop Mindfulness and Self‑Compassion
The more perfectionist you are, the lower your levels of mindfulness and self‑compassion tend to be. Mindfulness and self‑compassion help you become more aware, accept difficult situations, and reduce self‑criticism—the constant negative thoughts about yourself.
Common self‑critical thoughts include: “I’m not enough,” “I’m terrible,” “I’m not good at my job,” or “I always make mistakes.” While perfectionism may feel like it drives achievement, studies suggest that reducing self‑criticism and boosting mindfulness and compassion can help you reach goals more effectively.
Practicing mindfulness and self‑compassion can also improve relationships with clients, as professionals who are more compassionate tend to have better interpersonal interactions.
Some exercises recommended by psychologist Kristin Neff include:
- Notice self‑critical thoughts: Be aware of when and why they appear.
- Check the facts: Focus on what actually happened rather than your interpretation.
- Stay present: Direct your attention to a specific object or activity.
- Reduce judgment: Practice seeing yourself and others with less harshness, especially clients.
- Practice gratitude: Acknowledge what went well and recognise your effort.
- Develop a compassionate voice: Treat yourself as you would your best friend.
2. Practice Psychological Flexibility
From Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), perfectionism and self‑pressure are often linked to low psychological flexibility—difficulty accepting your own thoughts and emotions. High‑perfectionism psychologists may also struggle with:
- Control: Feeling the need to manage everything, plan exhaustively, and struggle when things go off plan.
- Problem‑solving: A compulsion to quickly fix problems for yourself and others.
- Seeking explanations: Trying to understand everything about situations and people.
ACT strategies can help reduce these tendencies:
- Accept that not all thoughts, feelings, and memories can be controlled.
- Accept that not everything that goes wrong is controllable or requires an explanation.
- Stop ruminating on “what if” scenarios and focus on the present.
- Identify your core professional values and act flexibly in alignment with them.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes, recognising that perfectionism often causes more harm than good.
3. Set Boundaries and Realistic Goals
Perfectionism and self‑pressure can make it hard to prioritise personal satisfaction and set limits on work. This can lead to long, inefficient hours. Strategies include:
- Pros and cons exercise: List advantages and disadvantages of perfectionism in your professional and personal life.
- Structured work and breaks: Stick to set work times and allow yourself meaningful breaks.
- Set realistic goals: Base them on your own priorities, not others’ expectations.
- Focus on the process: Value the process, not just the outcome, and find satisfaction in small wins.
4. Seek Professional Support
If perfectionism and self‑pressure start affecting personal or professional wellbeing, seeking help is vital.
- Professional supervision or consultation: Helps manage work-related perfectionism and improve effectiveness.
- Therapy: Useful if perfectionism impacts personal life, reducing the risk of long-term difficulties.
In Summary
There’s a difference between perfectionism that’s never enough and striving for excellence that helps you do your best every day. Psychologists with high levels of perfectionism should recognise how it manifests and work on the four key strategies: mindfulness and self‑compassion, psychological flexibility, healthy boundaries and goals, and seeking professional support. This approach helps prevent bigger issues down the line and supports both personal wellbeing and professional practice.
Focus on what you do best, we’ll take care of the rest.
You can count on an online psychologist at Therapyside to continue delving into your emotions, prioritize yourself, and take care of your psychological well-being. If this article has helped you better understand this topic, we hope you feel more empowered to live a life without limitations!